I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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