i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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