If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
