We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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