The maid of honor just puked.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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