dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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