He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
