I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
