Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
