Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
