Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
