I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
