It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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