so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
