If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
