my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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