Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
