Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
