Yo dont text me then not text me
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
