Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
