I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
