she told me i tasted like america
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
