yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
