I was born with a shot glass in my hand
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
