holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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