Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
