Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
