yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
