i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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