Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize