Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
