No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
