oh god the rape fog is back!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
