tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
