I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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