hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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