All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
