Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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