so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
