There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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