I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
