He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
