And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It all started with a game of naked twister.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
