I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
