this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
