please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
