New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
