What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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