Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
