You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
