it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
