all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
